Today I thought I’d share a personal post instead of just business, after all, this blog is mine, and I want to make it about me as much as about my photography.
This morning I awoke to the news that my Grandmother in-law, whos house I’m currently staying in while visiting my mother and father in law in oklahoma, passed away at 440 this am. It shocked me, stunned me, then didn’t surprise me, then saddened me, maddened me and pained me all at one time. I started to think how can I tell my son about Grandma Wanda.. Yes we’ve known for some time she wasn’t doing the best, but, well I always hoped and prayed that they’d some how come up with some cure for Alzheimers and her memory would be restored. I just dreaded telling my first born son about death. I wanted that to be something my husband told him about, or we were telling him together, not me alone. It was a difficult thought. Then other thoughts seem to storm my brain, WHY? WHy didn’t I go see her since I’ve been in Oklahoma.. Why didn’t I take my children to see their great grandmother one last time.. I felt horrible to say the least… My mother in law tried to reassure me, and encourage me, and she did well… but the enemy was out to decieve me.. I tried to not cry but I had to let it out. (click below to continue reading)
I contacted American Red Cross to have them notify my husband (Currently in combat), that his grandmother had passed away. That was not too difficult a process, thankfully. Then I went back to sleep. After awaking a couple hours later, I sat down with my Logan, and asked him, “Logan, Do you remember mommy telling you about what happens when people who love God, die?”… Logan replies, “They go to Heaven!!” With big smiles. I think he was smiling for pride that he answered the question right, not sure really what that means yet, at least not entirely. I said, “Yes, they do. Well, I have some news to tell you baby.” and Logan replies, “Did my daddy die?” and he was very sad. I told him, “NO LOGAN, Daddy DID NOT DIE, Daddy is okay and is coming home very soon! But someone else has died, but they are with Jesus now so theres no reason to be sad for them, they are happy now.” Then I told him about how it was Grandma wanda, and explained about how she is not sick anymore and is with God. He cried at first, then I told him not to cry that she was happy and he cheared up a bit. Then I told him about what to expect in a funeral, that was coming, and that her eyes would be closed, and it was for us to say good bye to her, btu that she won’t really be “There”, that she is really already in heaven. And he didn’t like that he wanted her eyes to open he said when he would tell her goodbye.. That was a tough part for me, but I stayed strong and kept him positive. Parenting is definitly the toughest job there is. I am thankful to have had God’s peace to explain that to him, cause I was very nervous.
Well your probably saying wheres the beauty? Well two things, The Beauty is in the truth. She went to be with the LORD! SO SWEET! What a better new years resolution to get to be with the lord, and end the suffering! I am so happy for her! Sad that I can’t experience life with her on earth, but really she wasn’t living, she was just there.. The second BEAUTY that overcame this sad day, was the amazing amazing beauty of the day. Snowed all day, and last night, and it just looks Gorgeous. I couldn’t capture too much of how amazing it was cause I am locked up here w/ my sick kiddos, and can’t drive in this cause, well, I just don’t do well!
Thank you God for giving us a beautiful day to remember Grandma Wanda, and to look to your face. Thank you for Snow!
no comments